Don't even act like you're surprised.

Monday, Feb. 05, 2007, 11:38 p.m.

Well, unless somebody wants to volunteer to pull a certain commander-in-chief's head out of his ass, it's nearly offical: I'm going back to Iraq. Probably sometime within the next six weeks.

I say it's "nearly" official because, obviously, anything could happen. A few months ago, it was all but certain that I was going to be out of the Army by April. Several more weeks passed, and it was more or less decided that I would still be in the Army for three more years, but living in Virginia by March. Halfway through January, I was told that my moving was now going to be delayed, seeing as how my battalion commander didn't feel that I was "retainable" and thus couldn't reenlist for the new assignment I'd been promised.

Now, a few short days into February, probably the only thing that will convince me that I'm not going to deploy with my Division would be Glinda the Good Witch floating down in a bubble to tell me so herself.

I am really trying not to freak out about this. I keep telling myself hey, at least I don't have a new baby to leave behind like my co-worker Babymomma does and at least I don't own a house that requires constant attention, or a pet that will soon be homeless and at least I've done this before, so I know what to expect and what the hell am I worried about? It's not like I'm a high-profile target or anything.

I haven't quite accepted it yet, I think. I can't absorb it. It's like when you accidentally touch a hot surface, and at first, you're all "Hey, that's pretty damn hot, isn't it?" and then five seconds later, it's "AAAAAAAAHHHHH MOTHER OF GOD GET ME ICE CUBES BEFORE I DIE!" And then someone comes up to you and tells you about his friend who was in a car wreck and has third-degree burns all over his body, and you regain perspective ... but your finger still hurts.

I have so much more in my mind about all of this, but frankly, I think I'd rather just go to sleep than spend any more time thinking about it.

Before I do, though, here is some loveliness from my weekend with Husband in Faygetteville, N.C., to boost the general mood of this entry:

(HA!)

And NOW I can sleep.