Want my bad mood? Here ya go!

Wednesday, Oct. 25, 2006, 9:23 p.m.

Every now and then, I fall into these little pits of despair. Usually, it's caused by something trivial -- a minor disappointment or the sudden realization that I am not actually the Queen of the Universe and that is why there is no fucking ice cream in the fucking freezer -- and it passes by after a few minutes of moping.

But sometimes, it hangs on. I get all cranky and whiny and inconsolable, and I demand that whoever is running the world get up off his or her omnipotent ass and FIX this shit. I become She Of The Excessive Pissyness. And if the cause of my bad mood doesn't immediately flee my memory, The Pissyness Abides.

Right now, I'm mired in a nasty little swamp of emotional weirdness. I was a little too honest in a situation where I maybe should have just stayed vague. And frankly, I'm scared to death that my need to blurt out whatever the fuck is on my mind at any moment to anybody (in writing, even! What kind of self-destructive freak am I?!) is going to do some irreparable damage to a quasi-friendship that was already a bit iffy.

(If you're confused about why I'm affected so deeply by the possible ruin of a quasi-friendship, it's because I'm not telling you everything. Please just bear with me here; ambiguity is all I can give you right now.)

Anyway, I'm down. And the only thing that could (probably) pick me back up at this point is definitely not going to happen. And I feel like a moron for getting myself into the mental mess I'm in. And of course my iTunes shuffle setting just saw fit to play some damn Joni Mitchell, because if any song can cheer me up, it'll be "Both Sides Now," right? FUCK.

I really wish we had some motherfucking ice cream.