Gratitude, and also some random crap

Friday, Apr. 28, 2006, 1:44 a.m.

Tonight, my body decided that it was no longer my decision when I would go to sleep. That is, my brain went all Richard Simmons on me and just would. not. stop. At all.

I begged it, "Brain, for the love of GOD. Have you not noticed that I am having a terrible day? Do you not care that I would now like to stop thinking about this day and just go to fucking SLEEP already? What is the problem? Is this about all those celebrity tabloids I force you to read? Because, for real, it is totally your fault that I am addicted to them. Well, it's also kind of Britney Spears' fault. And Tom Cruise's. And Nicole 'Skeletor' Richie's. And ... okay, brain, shut the fuck UP."

But damn it all, my brain is a vindictive bitch. And that is why I've been sitting up all night trying to catch up on all you people's lives. And eating Tostitos.

Then, the portion of my brain which allows me to write coherent comments kind of went on break (although the Tostitos-eating portion, in case you're wondering, is still going pretty fucking strong), so I started to peruse some of the comments you favoritiz-ers have written about me in your profiles over the past year or so.

And all I have to say about that is, Holy Ego-Boost, Batman!

Really, I don't think I have felt this awesome about myself in ages, and that is saying a lot, because usually (to myself, at least) I am something akin to The Queen Of All That Mightily Kicks Bootay.

Actually though, today I have been feeling kind of The Queen Of Nothing In Particular Except Maybe My Fuzzy Penguin Slippers, and the not-sleeping really wasn't helping matters, so what I'm trying to say here is ...

Thank you. Thank you for being wonderful and devoted and highly complimentary readers of my random, often-infrequent, semi-intelligent bursts of creativity and/or drivel.

For sheezy.

On a completely unrelated note (because I have been warned by my superiors not to talk about certain specifics of my currently ball-sucking work situation) ("to anyone! Or we will tar and feather you! Garrr!"), Husband and I are going to go on a marriage retreat this weekend.

The retreat-thing is sponsored by one of our Army chaplains, and I'm actually looking forward to it, partially because it's all free (which, yay!). And hopefully it will help Husband and I learn to communicate using sentences which do not necessarily contain any variation of the word "youareafuckingasshole." Except endearingly, of course.

I don't really know what else to say about it now, but let us note that my view on the whole thing is optimistic. For once. And let us also hope for the best.

Segue! Segue! Segue!

My wonderful new-old Mini (that is, my 1972 Mini Cooper, recently purchased from some guy on eBay -- for those of you who haven't been paying very close attention, ahem ahem) was successfully shipped to me a couple of weeks ago from Jolly Old England, or whatever we're calling it these days.

I haven't posted any pictures yet because 1) my camera battery was dead when I bought it, and 2) it is currently in The Shop being "pimped out," as I believe the technical term is nowadays.

Lots o' body work
This is because Rust Abides, and I do not have dominion over Rust. Some guy named Jose', to whom I am handing over many dollaz, does has dominion over Rust, and he is taking care of that for me.

New wheels/tires
Because 10-inch tires are apparently not considered "highway-safe," unless they are attached to a trailer, which is attached to another vehicle. Oh well, we shall fix.

Paint!
Of course it will still be blue. But it will be a way rocking-er blue, and there will be white racing stripes. Thus saith I. Because, stripes! Fun!

Air-conditioning
Have I mentioned that I live in Georgia? And also that it is summer here? And that sweat dripping down my back is not really very attractive? Yeah, okay, I thought so.

Some kind of radio
I dare anyone alive to try to make me drive for more than an hour by myself with no music. I have never actually attempted it, but I foresee doom.

And that's more or less all I can think of for the moment.

Unfortunately, I won't be able to drive the Blue Mini at all, or for that matter drive anything, at least for a while, seeing as how the Confederacy is determined to never un-suspend my driver's license.

I arrived at that conclusion today, when I went to the DMV to try to reinstate my license (blllaaaarrrrgggh, was my reaction to that debacle) and sort out a couple of tickets which were paid, but for some reason were not recorded as being paid.

In the process, I was informed of another ticket -- from some butt-fucking town called Forsyth, three years ago -- that somehow had never gotten paid. And I discovered that since I don't really have any way to magically make $270 appear on some desk in a town three hours away, my license will remain suspended, and I am going to go ahead and blame the terrorists.

Actually, now that the blame is placed, I feel much better. And maybe now I can get some damn sleep.